Hello. And welcome to our service helpline.

Demand is high at this specific time

and all our helpers currently engaged.

Your call’s important, so we’ll play for you

Vivaldi, while we hold you in a queue.


Demand  is high at this specific time

and all our clients currently enraged.

Your call’s important for our revenue.

We’ll play Vivaldi while ignoring you

and watch our profits make a steep incline.


All our staff are currently enslaved.

Your call’s a chore they’d rather not pursue.

They’ll play Vivaldi and leg it to the loo

while you are left to dangle on the line.

Demand is high and they’re on unpaid overtime.


Your call is still important, so we’ll cue

Vivaldi for the umpteenth time and coo

smooth, pre-recorded clichés down the line.

Demand is high, and we are doing fine

pretending that the customer’s assuaged.




Vivaldi’s endless seasons torture you.

Welcome to their service hindranceline.

Endure it only if you have the time

for operators constantly engaged.

Your call’s important, but you won’t get through.



© Chris Banks

Published in my anthology ‘Days of Fire and Flood’