From Messrs. STRUTT AND CHANTICLEER
Established 1846 and dealing only in the Northern Hemisphere
Purveyors of Gentlemen’s High Quality Convincing Tears
(With the notable exception of those certain wartime years)
We wonder if you realise that you are in arrears –
we mean, of course, with tears,
since none have been produced by you for years and years.
Never think yourself a freak because you fail to leak.
Have you tried crying in your beer,
with failure to exude the smallest smear?
There is no need to fear
the empathetic tear.
No gentleman would jeer.
Be of good cheer!
We have the answer here –
it is our manufactured tear.
When glued to cheeks, they last for weeks.
For he who seeks perfection’s peaks,
there is no other product near –
ours simply have no peer,
for they are crystal clear
(compare with any cut class chandelier).
As to advancing your career –
we will provide that confident veneer
to your sophisticated chic – an entrée to that inner clique –
when you affix our artificial tear.
If you would please sign here…and here …and here
We are your humble servants, STRUTT AND CHANTICLEER.
N.B. We guarantee our product will adhere.
© Sue Lansdell